The roots of love

As February draws to a close, I’m finishing my series of blogs on love with one about a psychologist called Carl Rogers. He came up with a very simple concept of three ways of being – the roots of which lie in love, for others and for yourself.

The first is empathy: being able to walk in someone else’s shoes, so you can see things from their perspective and understand why they are where they are. Secondly, congruence: being authentic, real, genuine… a sense of human warmth. And thirdly, unconditional positive regard: viewing yourself and others in a positive light, without judgement or criticism.
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To be able to offer these three core ways of being to others is one thing, and to be able to do them for yourself is quite another. For me, the core ways of being have to start with yourself before you can offer them to others. It’s about finding ways that you can realise self-regard sincerely and consistently. If you are unable to show these three ways of being to yourself, it may prove difficult to show them towards others. Nothing new here for regular readers of my blog; so perhaps another reminder of how vital it is to take care of, and show love towards, ourselves. 
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