As the clocks went back last weekend, I heard so many comments about how dark it is now in the evenings. So, this week’s blog is about light.
 
When someone lightens up your life just by their presence, it’s a wonderful feeling to bask in that light. When someone is a bit of a downer, there is usually some hidden inner baggage which contains sadness and darkness. Which do you bring to the party? A little light or a little dark? A lot of optimism or a little pessimism?
 
Before the days of flicking a switch to light up a whole town or village, one candle had to be lit by another. If you are aware that you are holding some darkness, it might be useful to spend time with someone whose light is already lit, and stays lit in most situations. Eventually, we may learn the art ourselves, and then act as a candle to others.

I’ve written many times about being busy and how it can take hold of your life, your thoughts and actions. I’ve been in the grip of ‘busy-ness’ so many times, I’ve lost track. And the conclusion I have come to? I have to choose to be less busy. I have to get off the busy-treadmill, the busy-hamster wheel, and decide it’s not for me. The world still turns regardless of how I operate.

Brené Brown sums it up beautifully:
 
“’Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.”
 
It might not be easy, but I’m trying to stay alongside my life, rather than out in front, so I can catch up with myself. And this means I have to plan well and let some ‘vital’ things pass me by…

What do you think about this?
 
The quickest way to unhappiness is to compare yourself to others.
 
I think this is so true: comparing yourself to others will leave you feeling one of three things – inferior, superior or impressed. All three of these states are tricky because they all disregard the underlying principle of our true connection with each other - mutual love and positive regard, based on independently-generated self-esteem.
 
What to do? Be pleased for someone else and who they are/what they can do, and recognise all that you are/what you can do too. Being grateful for what you are and what you have is a great place to start. And if you must compare yourself to someone, try comparing yourself now to who you used to be – and see how far you have come!

As it’s the first Wednesday of the month, it’s guest blog time. It ties in really nicely with Clean Well-Being’s 8th birthday celebrations, as I’m looking back on all the work I have done over the past years, including working with charities. I have focused on those which have causes that mean a lot to me – from mental health, domestic violence and bereavement to sport, cancer care and the environment.
 
This is where Sport in Mind comes in. I’m currently working with this excellent charity on a couple of supercool projects and wanted to share some of the work they do.
 
With World Mental Health Day 2020 approaching this coming Saturday, I’m handing over the blog reins to a key member of the team from the award-winning Berkshire charity Sport in Mind that delivers sport and physical activity programmes to help aid the recovery of people experiencing mental health problems. 
 
Someone once asked me, “What do you want to do with your life?” And my answer was simple – I want to help people. Today, so many years later, and my mission in life remains the same, but the difference is now I’m in a position to not just help one or two people, as through my work with Sport in Mind I can help and empower thousands of the people experiencing mental health problems each year. 
 
World Mental Health Day on 10th of October is obviously an important day in the calendar for my charity Sport in Mind, but it should be a really important day for all of us because every year at least 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem. Despite the fact millions of us will experience mental health problems this year there’s still a great deal of stigma and misunderstanding about mental illness so it’s really important to talk about how you’re feeling, particularly with life as it is at the moment.
 
Since lockdown, I’ve spoken to so many people who have been struggling mentally and feeling isolated. If there’s anyone reading this who is feeling the same, I just want to let you know you’re not alone, there’s millions of people feeling exactly the same as you so try to connect with friends or family and let them know how you’re feeling. It’s also really important to be active as it’s one of the most effective ways to lift your mood; so many of the people I’ve spoken to during lockdown have been able to improve their mental health by taking part in physical activity regularly. The term physical activity can of course be scary to many of us, but when we talk about physical activity that doesn’t have to mean hardcore fitness workouts or sports sessions, it can be things like going for a walk, dancing in the living room or digging in the garden – anything that will increase your breathing rate. Doing something simple like going for a brisk walk and dancing around the living room really helped my mental health through lockdown.
 
Since Sport in Mind was established in 2010, our charity’s mission has been about providing accessible and supportive sport and physical activity opportunities to improve the lives of people experiencing mental health problems. Our sessions are never about how good you are at sport or how fit you are, they are simply about HAVING FUN and giving people are bit of a break from everything else that's going on in their lives.
 
If you’re interested in Sport in Mind’s work, please contact info@sportinmind.org.
 
And here is a video about Sport in Mind’s new dance session: https://www.dropbox.com/s/caop9doynsab1xp/MUM%20BABY%20TEASER.mp4?dl=0 . 

It's a question that we might not ask ourselves very often, if at all. But it's something that I've been thinking about this week. If it feels good to be me, do I need external stimuli to help me feel better? Surely external stimuli are needed only when it does not feel good to be me.
 
In my work in education, I see this so frequently. Without a strong sense of being 'enough', children grow up to be adults who search for the thing that will make them feel better about themselves, be that constantly buying new stuff, dependence on substances, lack of self-care, or self-destructive behaviour.
 
But what if they didn't need to do that? What if they felt they were enough?
 
Many people think it's too late to change once they have reached adulthood ("That's just the way I am!"). Yet all it takes is having a word with yourself and realising that you are in charge of your mind and you make the decisions, not the other way around – and you are worth looking after. You might discover that you are enough without the external stimuli, and that the world still turns without them in your life.

Have you made some time for yourself today – just for you, to sit quietly, refresh yourself and feel renewed? Not escaping to the television, or pounding the streets, or even reading. Just time to sit quietly, focus your thoughts, check your priorities, and make sure there is nothing negative knocking around in your own mind. Take some time and be with yourself.
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If you find this difficult, it can often help to have a bit of guidance, and many people are big fans of guided meditation. There are lots of examples online and YouTube is a great place to start. Try starting small, listening to something short and succinct. You can then build up to more when you feel ready. Remember there is no ‘right’ way of doing this. Being mindful is a personal thing – it’s your choice how you do it.  

What’s the most valuable thing you have ever owned?
 
Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, our bodies will always be the most valuable thing in our lives. Imagine if you had to try and piece your own body together, sourcing and paying for each part! It would be astronomically expensive… Without getting into the ethics and possibilities of such a notion, the crux of this blog is (no surprises!) about looking after your body – as it is the most valuable thing you will ever own.
 
So, what is it worth to you? Not monetary, as that’s too tricky to calculate. But in other terms, like reliability or function. If a part of it broke down, how would that ‘cost’ you?
 
And what are you doing to ensure that your body retains its value to you?
 
It’s been said so many times before, by me and countless others: look after your body with good food, sleep, exercise, rest, relaxation and fun to help it stick around for as long as you need it.  
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I’m hijacking this week’s blog with a reminder about my charity fundraising event being held this Saturday, 12th September, on Zoom. Everyone is welcome to come, and if you can’t make it please do make a donation.

At the Fling, you get to try different types of online fitness class with Katie and me, while raising money for Sport in Mind, an independent multi-award-winning mental health charity based in Reading. Their aim is to improve the lives of people experiencing mental health problems through sport and physical activity. 

You can join in online for as many classes as you like, all from the comfort of your own home!

Donations welcome via www.sportinmind.org/fundraisers/fitness-fling-goes-online.

Sign up here: www.cleanwellbeing.com/charity-fitness-fling.html.  I will then send you the Zoom link. Thanks!

​@brollygoodideas @sportinmind 

​Guest blog time! I know many inspirational people so I’ve asked some of them to write a guest blog. The first one is by my friend and colleague Tessa Venuti Sanderson. She is an extraordinary person and we share so many interests and ideals. Do look her up!
 
“You have all the answers. Ultimately, I really believe this is true. You might need some guidance and signposting along the way, but you can feel when something is good for your body. You’ve probably seen conflicting advice about what the best diet contains. Perhaps you’ve seen information about the latest exercise craze and wonder if it will have the same effect on your body.
 
What I’ve learnt over 16 years of teaching yoga, through completing my MSc in Exercise and Nutrition, and teaching menstrual cycle awareness to women of all ages, is that we are unique. And we change through the course of our lives. We need tailored approaches. I’ve become suspicious of anyone who claims to have the diet or ultimate exercise routine for everyone.
 
The key to supporting your well-being is feeling empowered to change what you’re doing. Information + empowerment to act = transformation.
 
My passion is empowering children and women to be body positive. To listen deeply to what their bodies tell them. I do this through the books I’ve written, including my latest one for pregnant women. Rather than another how-to book on birth, this book aims to support women to fundamentally shift their mindset, to transform the birthing journey and parenthood too.
 
The illustrated children’s books about puberty are for younger readers. They give children a language about their bodies and normalise body talk. This empowers them to speak about what makes them nervous about growing up. And to tell someone if they don’t have the body sovereignty that they have a right to.
 
Well-being is more than skin deep! Cultivating it is a life-long practice.”
 
Tessa’s book Pearls of Birth Wisdom is released on the 5th September. Pre-order it now for a pregnant woman in your life at www.amazon.co.uk/Pearls-Birth-Wisdom-Insights-Practices/dp/0993375189 or buy it direct from me for a signed copy: hello@tessayoga.co.uk. To find out more about Tessa’s work, visit www.cyclicalwisdom.com or follow her on Instagram @tessayogawomanality.

​When someone lightens up your life just by their presence, it’s a wonderful feeling to bask in that light. When someone is a bit of a downer, there is usually some hidden inner baggage which contains sadness and darkness. Which do you bring to the party? A little light or a little dark? A lot of optimism or a little pessimism?

Before the days of flicking a switch to light up a whole town, one candle had to be lit by another. So, if you are aware that you are ‘holding’ some darkness, it might be useful to spend time with someone whose light is already lit, and stays lit in most situations. Eventually, we may learn the art ourselves, and then act as a candle to others.

​Where does your sense of well-being come from? What is ‘at the bottom’, where you can go no further?
 
Well-being is not a peripheral or surface-layer state – it is something that lies right at the root of yourself. It’s made up of your fundamentals. The important thing to know is that well-being does not lie in other people, in things, at the bottom of a bottle or in the promise of future times: it needs to be in the present time.
 
If you have a chance today, spend some time playing around with the idea of what is at the root of your well-being. What are your fundamentals? This might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, because it can challenge our ideas and encourage us to question the status quo.
 
Whatever you ponder, remember that caring for your roots allows for more well-being shoots to thrive. 

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

Isn’t it interesting how your thoughts have a huge impact on your life?

If you always think the same, you will always get to the same place. If you think in a new way, you will find new solutions and ways of doing things.
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You are in charge of your thoughts and your life and you can adapt to make the changes you would like to see in your world. 

In my day job as an education consultant, I come across a lot of people who strive for perfection. It’s something that I’ve noticed more and more in the teaching profession over the years, no doubt associated with the amount of testing, assessing, checking and re-checking (just in case things have changed in the three minutes since the previous assessment was made).

In trying to understand and help, I found this ‘perfect’ quote from Brené Brown, who is a researcher professor at the University of Houston, Texas.

“Perfectionism is armour. It’s not internally driven like healthy striving. It’s externally driven and fuelled by ‘What will people think?’ Perfectionism is a shield that keeps us from being seen. Here’s to a genuine, unamoured, messy, awkward, compassionate, less-than-perfect life.”
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I love this attitude and strive for it daily, saying to myself that it really doesn’t matter what people think and it is perfectly acceptable to be seen. How about you? And for more on the marvellous Brené, take a look at www.brenebrown.com. 

This week, I am celebrating the re-opening of my town’s library. I have missed the library more than anything else since the start of lockdown.

Libraries are such special spaces for me. When I was 16, I had a great Saturday job which involved very little work and provided lots of free stuff. I worked in my local library and could borrow as many books (and, as it was the 1990s, tapes, CDs and videos!) as I liked. It was a very relaxing place to work as it was so quiet – not yet the realm of singing sessions and toddler play areas like there are nowadays…

Many of my friends worked in noisier, busier places, under much worse conditions and for less reward. I was very lucky to have such a great introduction to work-life (compared to the scarring of the stint I did in a men’s clothes shop during the holidays once – urgh, the utter BOREDOM!).

Then, at university, I often had a free Thursday afternoon, so would go to the depths of the Clinical Sciences library and immerse myself in books on the brain. I loved it!

Every time I go to the library, I feel calm and reassured by the relative peace and the quiet way people move around the space. It got me thinking about how we can inhabit a library-like space in our minds, browsing the accumulated wisdom on the shelves of life.
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When we ‘visit’ the library in our minds, we can listen to the silence and be aware of the stillness. Quietness in an atmosphere means there is the presence of quiet minds; quiet minds are not only relaxed, they can concentrate easily and create more freely. #loveyourlibrary 

​This week, I’ll mostly be noticing the tiny things that are immensely satisfying, even if only for a short time. Here are some of those things:
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1. A sharp pencil when writing notes (I use a propelling pencil – details are important here!)
2. Making eye contact with red kites as they fly over my office window
3. Picking raspberries that have been warmed by the sun
4. A clutter-free bathroom
5. Walking through sun-dappled beech woods
6. The ritual of my mid-afternoon cup of green tea
7. Reading in daylight after 9pm

What about you? I’d love to hear about the tiny things that spark joy and that you cherish. They don’t need to be fancy!