There are 5 weeks until Christmas... so I thought it could be interesting to focus on 5 ways to well-being in the run-up - all straightforward things that you can do or think about to boost well-being. 

The Five Ways to Well-Being (NEF) are a set of evidence-based actions which promote people’s well-being. They are: Connect, Be Active, Take Notice, Keep Learning and Give. These activities are simple things people can do in their everyday lives.

To mix it up, I'm starting with Give. The message here is very simple: do something nice for someone else; smile; thank someone; join a community group; volunteer your time - whatever it is, research has shown that 'giving' has a positive impact on the giver's sense of well-being. I'll be volunteering at The Purbeck Workshop this weekend. Come on over if you're around- it's a fabulous place!

(Save the date! The next mini retreat on your doorstep is on Saturday 16th January 2016. Book on the website.)

Last week's blog was a bit long so I'm keeping it short this week.

I'm running a course today on confidence and assertiveness skills so thought I would share one of the elements I use. The course is based on our rights, and one of the rights that many people say they struggle with is the right to say 'no'. Whatever the situation (work, home, friends), or request, saying no - particularly without feeling guilty - can feel tricky. So here are some questions you could ask yourself when considering your response to being asked something you might not want to do:

1. Is it a reasonable request?
2. Is it a priority?
3. Do I want to do it?
4. What are the consequences of doing it?
5. Can I accept the consequences?
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Most importantly, remember to pause and breathe before giving your response.

Good luck! And let me know how you get on: I love hearing your thoughts.

Save the date: the next mini retreat on your doorstep is about 'switching off' and sleeping easily; it will be on Saturday 16th January 2016. We're moving venues to have more space for everyone. Booking details will be on my website soon. ​

Firstly, just a little bit about last Saturday's mini retreat. We had a full hall and, despite the wild weather that felt like it was going to take over, we had a thoroughly relaxing time! Thanks to everyone who came and participated so whole-heartedly! Looking forward to the next one already (in January, date tbc), which will be on 'switching off' and sleep, as per your requests.

Which brings me to a bit of a taster for this week's ramblings... I've had so many conversations with people in the past couple of weeks about people not being able to sleep. The frustration seems to be about not being able to find out why sleep seems so elusive, despite following all the well-known recommendations. So what can I offer that might be different? I guess I will always return to my favourite saying: do more of what works, do less of what doesn't work. Yes, that's all very well, but when you haven't found anything that actually works, how can you keep doing more of it? Well, go back to the beginning and start again. Go through this checklist and see if there's anything new that you could try, or try again.

• Make sure you're the right temperature for sleep.
• Make sure you have enough space to spread out.
• Find something that quietens your internal chatter, which could be by listening to something monotonous, or a specific relax-y sound (not necessarily whales/dolphins, but something that works for you; Youtube is full of them).
• If you're into thrashy, hard-core exercise, try something slower that encourages more mindful movement. It doesn't have to be boring: it can be just as challenging for the body and can be more stilling for the mind.​
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I don't want to bombard anyone so will stop there, until the next mini retreat. It would be great to hear what works for you. Share your successes, I'd love to hear them.

Nothing to do with the autumnal weather ('cos it's not actually cold, is it?! 14 degrees? Pah!). More to do with the numerous shivers I felt coursing through my body when at the cinema yesterday to see Spectre. Again, nothing to do with what I was watching... More to do with what I was hearing. The music was truly outstanding! Unnoticeable and noticeable at the same time. I do love overtly-dramatic musical themes, especially those that you can really feel​ through your whole body, because it is so loud and enveloping and overwhelming, in a good way. The feel-good experience of being swept along by a great song or piece of music is, for me, immensely satisfying. And it led me to think about how music can be a well-being quick-fix: stick on a track that you love, throw some shapes (or sit still and let the music wash over you) and see how you feel after a few minutes. Lauren Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' played really loud always works for me. What about you?