Destination addiction

Have you heard of destination addiction?
 
It’s the preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
 
Ask yourself…

• Are you always in a hurry even when you don’t need to be?
• Do you promise that next month or next year you will be less busy?
• Do you dislike your job but convince yourself to stick it out as it has good prospects for the future?
• Do you rarely commit fully to anything in case something better comes along?
• Do you hope the next big success will finally make you happy?

 
These are attempts to get on with life faster in the hope that we will enjoy our lives better. And yet our constant speeding means we frequently dash past golden opportunities when looking for something better, or we are too busy speeding along to be receptive to the good stuff in front of us.
 
The thing about destination addiction is that it focuses purely on finishes and not on purpose.
 
What can we do about it? There is no singular correct answer but there seems to be a theme: to find fulfilment in what you are right now. It might be in aspects of your work life, your social life, home life or something else. Think back to a few years ago and notice whether what you yearned for then was what you have now. Perhaps your priorities have changed and you now want different things. How do you find fulfilment in what you have or are now?
 
I used to dream of a time when, at work, I could make all my own decisions and would not be tied to someone else’s timetable or ideas. In the main, I now have this – yet find myself wishing for a time when I don’t have to make all the decisions! Having strived so hard for something, I realise that it’s not perfect even though it’s what I want.
 
Here are some ideas of how to find fulfilment now. Note down:

• Things that make you smile right now
• Things that you are learning right now
• Things that you appreciate about yourself today
• What has worked well in the past to get you to a sense of fulfilment today

 
It’s not about forgoing a shiny future, but it is about recognising all the good stuff today.