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Have you ever found yourself being sucked in to all kinds of drama that were nothing to do with you? There might have been times when you caused yourself unnecessary angst by worrying about something that didn’t concern you. It takes a lot of strength to pull back from things that are going on around you, but give it a try. When you find yourself getting sucked in to another person’s circus, stop and ask yourself these questions:
1. Does this situation really involve me? 2. If the situation doesn’t really involve me, what is my motivation for getting involved? 3. What will it cost me to get involved? Time, money, stress, drama... 4. Can I really contribute anything that will help everyone get to a better resolution? 5. What will happen if I decline to participate in this situation? If the situation doesn’t really involve you, it might be a good idea to think about why you are considering getting involved. If your motivation is to be in on the latest gossip or to get the upper hand in a situation, back off! If your motivation is anything less than for the good of everyone involved, you don’t need to be a participant. By the way, did you know this is actually a Polish proverb? Interesting!
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Where does your sense of well-being come from? What is ‘at the bottom’, where you can go no further?
Well-being is not a peripheral or surface-layer state – it is something that lies right at the root of yourself. It’s made up of your fundamentals. The important thing to know is that well-being does not lie in other people, in things, at the bottom of a bottle or in the promise of future times: it needs to be in the present time. If you have a chance today, spend some time playing around with the idea of what is at the root of your well-being. What are your fundamentals? This might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, because it can challenge our ideas and encourage us to question the status quo. Whatever you ponder, remember that caring for your roots allows for more well-being shoots to thrive. My Building Confidence and Assertiveness Skills course is on 14th July, 9.30am to 12pm. Everyone is welcome! All details are here. (I’m away next week so there won’t be a blog until 28th June.) In a few weeks, I’ll be running a short course on building confidence and assertiveness skills and I wanted to give a little preview of it here. When I talk to people about becoming more confident and assertiveness, many are afraid of being brash, loud and bolshie. Yet true assertiveness and confidence are very quiet states, not shouty and mulish at all. Assertiveness is not about winning, but it is about finding a win-win situation. It’s all about navigating a true compromise that takes everyone's needs into consideration.
The most important part of building confidence and assertiveness is practice, which is why I set up the course on 14th July 2017 in South Oxfordshire. Come and join me - there will be cake too! More details can be found here. And if you have any questions, let me know. |
AuthorHi, I'm Joanna from Clean Well-Being. Archives
March 2022
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