What do you think about this?
“The quickest way to unhappiness is to compare yourself to others.”
I think this is so true: comparing yourself with others will leave you feeling one of three things – inferior, superior or impressed. All three of these states are tricky because they all disregard the underlying principle of our true connection with each other - mutual love and positive regard, based on independently-generated self-esteem.
What to do? Be pleased for someone else and who they are/what they can do, and recognise all that you are/what you can do too. Being grateful for what you are and what you have is a great place to start. And if you must compare yourself to someone, try comparing yourself now to who you used to be – and see how far you have come!
What do you think of the idea that acquiring things will make you feel secure?
“If I have more of x or y, I will feel better!”
But for many people, the reality is that the more they have, the more they fear losing it, and the further they are from feeling calm and peaceful.
Wanting stuff can also be the cause of conflict. When we want something and can’t get it, we become frustrated; so, learning to be free from desire is learning how to stay peaceful and calm.
How does this sit with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
In this week’s blog, I’m thinking about how, when confronting a problem or a difficult situation, many of us face it with worry or negative thoughts. This is a well-trodden path and is really familiar, so we keep doing it.
On the outside, it looks like the situation is being faced, when in reality on the inside it isn’t being dealt with effectively. And that is when it feels like ‘failing’.
Changing mindset here can really help, as the best way to deal with a situation is to start by calming the mind. Only a calm mind can find the answers to problems.
As humans, we need to understand that every problem has an answer, and that when our minds are relaxed, we can rely on ourselves to find the answer that is already there.
Another month, another guest blog, this time from my friend and colleague, Angela Milliken-Tull. We met a few years ago while both working for the same education consultancy and teamed up on some very exciting PSHE projects. Angela now co-directs Chameleon PDE (personal development education).
“When my business partner and I set up Chameleon PDE last year, a big focus was on empowerment. Empowering teachers to deliver great PSHE lessons to help students feel more empowered to move through their tricky teenage years and strategies to help find their place in the adult world. Everything was planned and then a pandemic came along.
Suddenly, we were pushed off course and were responding to new and uncharted needs: advice on how to cope with lockdown, home learning, isolation. Being able to pivot was essential and having our own coping strategies was equally important.
For me, the ‘medicine’ that kept me positive and empowered was being outside. As a keen runner and owner of two dogs, this was a non-negotiable. However, ‘practising what I preached’ about appreciating nature, being grateful and the importance of exercise took on a more relevant and vital meaning. Hopefully, this message worked equally well with students!”
Get in touch via www.chameleonpde.com, @chameleonpde or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hi, I'm Joanna from Clean Well-Being.
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